The DuroSport Electronics Company announces the immediate recall of our Auto Adapter accessory.
Apparently, there have been reports that the Auto Adapter — which uses exclusive DuroSport proprietary technology to leverage your automobile’s internal electronics to play DuroTunes through your car stereo — will cause random and unforeseen opening and closing of electronic garage door openers.
Police Departments in several cities, including Lompoc, California, and Dayton, Ohio, have contacted us as part of their ongoing investigations of break-ins that they say were caused by local gangs of disenfranchised, DuroSport-loving youths.
The allegations — which our lawyers strenuously refute, pending the outcome of our own investigation — are that the gangs of youths drive up and down suburban streets, listening to DuroTunes through the Auto Adapter until they see a garage door open as they drive by. Late at night, according to the Police, they use the Auto Adapter to re-open and loot the same garage.
The DuroSport Electronics Company does not believe that our products were used in the commission of any crimes, and if so, we deeply regret any loss that people may have suffered. We would also point out that the makers of the electronic garage door openers should bear full fiscal responsibility, not us. Our technology is as foolproof as it has always been. It is obviously a flaw on their end.
Finally, we can dismiss outright the story of the elderly woman in Ybor City, FL, who was crushed by a garage door inadvertently set off by the Auto Adapter as malicious internet gossip, probably started by someone who wishes us harm, like Microsoft or Medialoper.