The Next Next Big Thing

The Next Next Big Thing

It has been over a decade since I addressed DuroSport fans on this blog. Are you still there? If so, I know you will be surprised to see this post pop up in your RSS feed. You still use an RSS reader, don’t you? I know some of you have moved on to “twitter.” How is that working out for you?

Why the long silence?

I could make up some cockamamie story like the one our PR department wrote about how we’ve been working to “align our digital strategy with our unique value proposition,” but I won’t. Besides, the guy who wrote that crap is no longer with the company.

The truth is, I got locked out of the DuroSport Insider blog, and no amount of effort could get me back in. (No thanks to Matt Mullenweg. “Mr. WordPress” can’t be bothered to help a loyal user log in to their blog!)

After many years of bothering our IT department, they eventually found a way to rebuild the blog right here on the main DuroSport website. That means the DuroSport Insider blog has a new address. So please update your bookmarks and RSS feed readers. Do it right now. I will wait for you.

The other truth is that you didn’t miss much while I couldn’t post here. The past decade has been a never-ending series of mishaps, failed projects, disgruntled workers, and declining sales.

I know it’s a big surprise that a legendary company like DuroSport can go into a slump like this, especially considering our glorious history.

In a nutshell, our “big bets” failed in big ways.

  • Our core business has failed. Consumers no longer want dedicated mp3 music players because some know-it-all tech bloggers decided that “single-use devices” are “not cool.” Apparently, we are supposed to squeeze our revolutionary media player into a tiny “smart” phone. How is that supposed to work? Where would we put the dials?
  • Our autonomous vehicle project got stuck in reverse due to “regulatory hurdles.” Well, first, it was the regulatory hurdles. Now, it’s mostly the lawsuits.
  • Our blockchain solution created more problems than it solved. Believe me when I say crypto is much more complicated than it sounds. Apparently, there is no password reset for your crypto wallet. Lessons were learned. Money was lost.
  • Our hyperloop program is known internally as “the money pit.”
  • Worse than all of these other failures, the Metaverse has been hijacked by a crazy man who doesn’t understand virtual worlds! I will have much more to say about Mr. Jeff Zuckerberg in a future post.

Until recently, the writing was on the wall (and not on this blog). DuroSport was kaput. We were ready to shut the doors and bid a fond farewell to our many unhappy customers.

But then we had a major breakthrough, and now DuroSport is BACK IN THE GAME!

More information to come very soon. And I may also fill you in on some of what you missed while I was locked out of this blog. I kept a journal and will not hesitate to publish portions of it here whenever appropriate.

Stay tuned!

P.S. Please ignore any tweets from our old PR team. They are no longer part of the company.