Stupid People

Stupid people are the reason why I originally wanted to outsource our customer support to The Geek Squad. Who better to deal with stupid customers but the stupid geeks?

Everyone once in a while, we get a complaint. This is very rare. You will have a hard time finding someone who has something bad to say about our DuroSport products. When we do get a complaint, it is almost always a “user error.” And by “almost always,” I mean ALWAYS.

Below I will reprint a complete transcript of a recent customer service encounter. Please note the following about this individual:

  1. She is not an electrical engineer (therefore, entirely unqualified to say that there is a problem with our product).
  2. She obviously does not know how to use a simple website.
  3. She did not listen to our theme song (there are helpful pointers in that song).
  4. She does not have time to play 20 questions.

If you know a stupid person, please urge them NOT to buy a DuroSport.

[19:09] Nero Rang: now what seems to be the problem here?
[19:09] DeeDee Lang: i tried using the player earlier
[19:09] DeeDee Lang: but it was very frustrating
[19:10] Nero Rang: May I ask what level of education you have completed?
[19:10] DeeDee Lang: graduate level, 3 sems to completion
[19:10] Nero Rang: and what is your background in electrical engineering?
[19:10] DeeDee Lang: Nero i don’t have time to play 20 questions
[19:11] DeeDee Lang: i’ve spent enough time trying to figure out this equipment
[19:11] You: I am sorry, if you are not willing to help me help you, I can’t help you. Can I?
[19:11] DeeDee Lang: the point is it doesn’t work
[19:11] DeeDee Lang: so i asked earlier–is it a pretend player or does it really play in world
[19:11] You: I am sorry, but I am afraid there must be a user error, and I am trying to figure out what your problem was
[19:11] You: Did you read the documentation?
[19:12] DeeDee Lang: 🙂
[19:12] You: And what exactly were you expecting? In what way did the Prism DuroSport SL6000vrmp not live up to your expectations?
[19:13] DeeDee Lang: i’m looking for a media player that can play my favorite songs in world
[19:13] DeeDee Lang: i read on your site
[19:13] DeeDee Lang: that the player can integrate with itune
[19:13] You: yes, it can
[19:14] You: did you get the iTunes compatibility kit?
[19:14] DeeDee Lang: no–not yet….i can’t even get past the same page
[19:14] DeeDee Lang: on the instruction button–it had 1 thru however many pages
[19:14] DeeDee Lang: but everytime i click on a page
[19:15] DeeDee Lang: the web page is the same web page over and over again
[19:15] You: and what page was that?
[19:15] You: Did you fill out a support request on our website?
[19:15] DeeDee Lang: no i didn’t.
[19:15] You: Oy, it is so hard trying to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.
[19:15] You: Did you listen to the theme song?
[19:15] DeeDee Lang: no.
[19:16] Otto the DuroSport Security Robot: Do not fear our technology – it is mostly harmless.
[19:16] Otto the DuroSport Security Robot: Please see for more information about product recalls
[19:16] You: There are many answers in that song as well, especially about the iTunes compatibility.
[19:16] You: It is sort of a customer support theme song
[19:16] DeeDee Lang: thanks for the refund, Nero.
[19:16] DeeDee Lang: I have to go.
[19:16] You: If you heard the song you would realize that you are the only person who has ever had a problem with our product.
[19:17] DeeDee Lang: have a great evening.
[19:17] You: May I ask you for a testimonial?
[19:17] You: about your experience with the DuroSport?
[19:17] DeeDee Lang: you wouldn’t want my testimonial. 🙂

2 thoughts on “Stupid People”

  1. So, you expect your users to:
    a) Be electrical engineers
    b) Listen to a silly theme song
    c) buy an “iTunes Compatibility Kit”?

    Forget electrical engineers, maybe some usability experts are in order.

  2. Madam

    a) Yes.
    b) Yes, and they will enjoy it too.
    c) Yes, how else would they listen to the iTunes on the DuroSport?

    Usability experts are overrated. They are the first ones we have laid off during our cost cutting measures.

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