Please Be My Friend

Corporate called again today with some bad news. Last week I missed a Pütz marketing meeting (I had a dead battery, and the Pep Boys took forever to change the thing). DuroSport has been doing some research studies trying to figure out how we can “grow our market” (those are the words of our new Marketing guy — I think he used to be a farmer). Anyway, at this meeting, it was revealed that the DuroSport name is not particularly well known among the young people. At least, not in America. We’re doing okay with the 52-64-year-old demographic, but apparently, they don’t count for much anymore.

I think 52-64 year-olds aren’t half bad. Especially since I’m approaching that age bracket myself, they usually have more spare time on their hands—especially the older ones. Plus, we’ve pretty much engineered our media players with older customers in mind. Our controls and displays are much larger, and the size of the players makes them practically impossible to lose. Is it any wonder old people love the Prism DuroSport?

Unfortunately, our new marketing genius doesn’t love the old people. He is obsessed with “the youth market.” He doesn’t seem to realize that the youth market is only getting older. My great-uncle Oleg would be disappointed to see DuroSport take this approach. From the beginning, uncle Oleg designed DuroSport products for the masses. That includes everyone – large and small.

Anyway, I’ve been selected to be DuroSport’s representative on the MySpace because I missed this meeting. They say this will be a good way to get our name out there in front of the young people. They don’t seem to realize that half of these kids are hoodlums, and the other half can’t read very well.

So I now have my space on the MySpace. It’s my Nero page. Corporate wants to see results, so I need to prove that we’re making some progress here. Please come to the MySpace and be my friend (unless you’re a hoodlum). I don’t want any hoodlum friends.

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