Introducing CLaM, DuroSport’s New Language Model

CLaM the Colossal Language Model

We are ready to reveal more information about our homegrown machine-learning technology. The foundation of our AI model was cooked up by our genius mathematicians from Moldova State University (go USM Badgers!). We have come up with an entirely new approach to machine learning that will change the future of AI (and the world).

I am sure you are familiar with the so-called “Large Language Models” popularized by companies like Google and OpenAI. By contrast, DuroSport’s new approach to transformer architecture is so revolutionary that our model will exceed the combined intelligence of all previous Large Language Models!

While developing our new technology, we faced one major challenge. Ultimately, that challenge led to our breakthrough.

The challenge?

At DuroSport, we have a strict policy against using the word “large” because it is too small. If we are going to do this AI thing, it must be MASSIVE. It must be the AI equivalent of going to 11 (except bigger because there are not enough zeros in 11).

At first, our mathematicians were stifled by this limitation. “But, LLMs are the state-of-the-art,” they complained. Too bad! DuroSport’s model must be bigger than LLMs. And that is when our mathematicians had the breakthrough. We have skipped over Large Language Models entirely. Our new model is much bigger!

Today, I have been given permission to share a few details with you, so stand by. Also, you might want to take a seat. I am not responsible if you faint and hit your head after hearing this shocking news.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the world’s first CLaM (pictured above).

CLaM stands for Colossal Language Model.

That is not the actual CLaM, of course. That’s an artist’s rendering of the CLaM. Apparently, the CLaM is not available for photos. It’s just as well. We don’t want Google or Microsoft stealing our ideas. Microsoft tried that with the Züne, and it did not go so well for them.

The CLaM will transform how the world thinks about artificial intelligence.

How large is the CLaM, you ask? Again, I will remind you not to insult the CLaM by using words like “large.” Our model is enormous. The biggest! We can’t tell you exactly how big because it is still growing.

The CLaM is the foundation of DuroSport’s upcoming line of AI-powered products and services. Soon, it will power our entire company. Our consultants and Caitlyn are working to integrate the CLaM with all of our corporate systems. We are committed to using AI to improve the lives of our customers AND our employees. And, of course, our shareholders.

What a time to be alive! And to think that, as a young man, I was terrified of HAL 9000, and now I am living in an AI-powered dream world where anything is possible.

Stay tuned to this blog. You will not believe your eyes.