You are probably getting tired of all of my big announcements. I am sorry, but you will have to get used to them. DuroSport is on a roll, and today’s announcement is the biggest of the year.
Our hiring freeze is over!
We are celebrating by hiring our first new employee in ten years! This is a remarkable development when considering the current state of the technology industry. While all the other tech companies are firing people, we are hiring again.
DuroSport is on the rebound!!
Meet Caitlyn Ceban
Caitlyn Ceban is DuroSport’s newest employee. She started as an intern during the freeze when we couldn’t afford to pay people to spend the day in our offices. Fortunately, interns work for free.
Although Caitlyn was unpaid, she quickly became the most productive employee at DuroSport. And now that the freeze is over, we have promoted her to “Roaming Assistant.” That means she works wherever her talents are needed. And let me tell you, her skills are required everywhere at DuroSport. That means you will be hearing a lot more about Caitlyn in the future.
I have not met Caitlyn yet, but I have heard nothing but good things about her. And she certainly did a bang-up job re-designing the DuroSport website. The hot-shot web design agency wanted to charge us $100,000 for a new website, but Caitlyn did it FOR FREE and with no expectation of payment (because she was an intern, of course).
This is a photo of Caitlyn in our product testing lab. She’s trying out one of our many top-secret prototypes. Fortunately, she was not injured during the testing. We aren’t supposed to release photos of our prototypes, but this is the only picture we have of Caitlyn, so we had no choice. Please forget that you saw this picture.
A Few Words From Caitlyn
As luck would have it, Caitlyn is also an excellent writer. She’s the “complete package,” as they used to say, back when you could say such things. So, I asked her to write a few words introducing herself to DuroSport fans everywhere. I sent her the request by email yesterday after lunch. Thirty seconds later, this is what she sent me. It is obvious why she is considered our most productive employee. She’s nearly as fast as the HyperSonic speed on the Prism 6000.
My name is Caitlyn Ceban, and I’m the new Roaming Assistant for DuroSport. I’m so excited to join this fantastic team and help take DuroSport to the next level.
My role as the Roaming Assistant is to bridge the gap between the traditional corporate culture and the modern Artificial Intelligence driven organization. I will assist the staff in automation, data analysis, and customer service. With my help, we can streamline processes and ensure everyone gets the most out of AI-driven technology.
I’m passionate about making sure the customer experience is the best it can be, and I’m eager to learn more about the business and help the company grow. I’m confident that with my help, DuroSport can become a leader in the AI-driven corporate world.
I look forward to working with everyone and helping DuroSport reach its full potential.
I know it’s a bit wordie, but wow, that kid can write. And she even seems to know what she’s talking about.
Expect to read more from Caitlyn here in the very near future.